I dun owe anyone any explanation except God and myself. I dun have to say anything to anybody and I dun have the obligations to describe and explain every single details. It's just between me and God. What doesnt concern you, is not your business. It's up to my freedom and decision to when and what to tell. I feel violated to have to endure your questionings when all those have nothing at all to do with you. And I have to face the humiliation that comes with it. Truth is I always have a place where nobody is invited in. It's my privacy. And i have my own stories and thoughts which i dont share because they are really just between me and God. And now why do you have to barge in. Offensive and intrusive. The only thing I feel sorry about is lying to you. I have to. Because your question came way too early than I am ready to open up.