though i'm not "officially" a christian, i do consider myself as one simply because i believe in jesus, and i'm waiting for the day when i'll be baptised. for the first time i entered a church for a service, i felt the power of God and christianity. it was the first time when i truely felt peace, love and the greatness of forgiving. i felt like a naked child, striped off of my sins and evilness, leaving nothing than purity. it was too the time when i'm touched by holy spirits, and my tears flow while singing praises to the God. i felt so close to Him, as if held by Him in his gentle hands. it was as if i'm in a heaven. i felt a great change in myself when i left the church; the change of the way i see people and things. and now, long after the last time i went for a service, evilness seemed to surround me. i feel fear and anxiety and i know i'm slowly leaving peace. i feel evil in myself. again, God, i'm reaching my hands and soul to you. i need to feel you and i need to be held by you. i know you are my only salvation. the one and only way to peace and love.


save me